August 2, 2011

Save Me From Myself | A Song By Me


I’m lost in a world of darkness
I’m filled with a load of guilt
I cry out to you full of sadness
Wishing the pain wouldn’t hurt

So I cry, save me from myself.
You are all I need.
Save me from myself.
This is my desperate plea.
There’s only one thing I ask
Only one thing I need
It’s to feel Your love…
And to know Your peace

I know of Your love and mercy
I know Your unending grace
But the only thing I long to feel
Is the warmth of Your embrace.

So I cry, save me from myself.
You are all I need.
Save me from myself.
This is my desperate plea.
There’s only one thing I ask
Only one thing I need
It’s to feel Your love…
And to know Your peace

Will I ever know the depths of Your love?
And can You truly satisfy?
The only thing left is for me to let go
And surrender to You my life.

So, save me from myself, my Master.
You Lord, are all I need.
Save me from myself, my Master.
This is my desperate plea.
There’s only one thing I can ask, Lord Jesus.
It’s the only thing I need.
It’s to feel Your love…
And to know Your peace.

July 15, 2011

Being single in a boyfriend/girlfriend world: Part 1

What do you think is the most over used word in the English language?

Want a hint? It's 4 letters.

We use it for everything.

It can be the key to a relationship.

It can also be the way to describe the way you feel about a pair of shoes.

That's right. L O V E.

Lets play a game that I'm sure you all have at least once in your life.

Which sentence does not belong?

I love that car! I love this food! I love country music! I'm in love with Brad Pitt! I love Jesus!

That's a tough one.

(not)


3 years ago, I started to write my thoughts about love and what it really is. The longer I went, the harder it got. Did I actually learn anything? Sure. But I became sick of the concept that everybody loves everything!

Think about it. If everybody loves everything, then everybody loves nothing. Because it would become obsolete. So there must be something special about love that I've been missing.

That's been my thought for quite a while.

Being a wedding photographer, I get to meet a lot of people who are "in love."

I read a photographers blog once about how she was always being asked how she liked being single when she was always meeting new people who have these incredible love stories. Her response was that she was just getting more experience so that she would know the in's and out's of relationships so that she would be ready when the time came. And that she could really tell a difference in those couples who had God at the center of their lives.

I've already noticed this. And I've only done 3 weddings.

You can tell when people are truly happy. And when they are just happy because they need to be. (which sometimes actually turns into unhappiness on their wedding day...just saying.)

Those couples who are really happy, usually love God and have put Him first in everything. He's their number one. Not their spouse. And they know that only He can keep their relationship in a lasting position.

The question to ask them would be: How do you love God first, and then love your husband/wife?

And then as a single person, what should I be doing to prepare myself for the future?

...to be continued.

May 31, 2011

You Are More

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are, 
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more

'Cause this is not about what you've done, 
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been, 
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel, 
But what He felt to forgive you, 
And what He felt to make you loved. 

You are more



Do you ever feel like a song that you stumble upon was written about you?

Well I do with this song.

Sung by Tenth Avenue North, You Are More has become one of my favorite songs.

To be honest, I really got annoyed by this song because KLOVE played it on the radio over and over again until I knew it by heart, but I had no clue what they were singing. It was just another tune.

When I started listening to country music and pop/hiphop a lot, I lost touch with a lot of the Christian music I once loved.

And I'll be the first to tell you, I am FAR from perfect.

But when I heard this on the radio recently, and I actually listened to what the words were instead of singing along mindlessly, I was surprised.

You see, there are many many things people don't know about me. And it's going to stay that way. But let's just say for a moment that those lines that I "bolded" in the lyrics above were actually spoken by me. What would you do?

If someone you know, (and I can guarantee there is more than one person) thinks like that, the best thing you can do is try to prove them wrong. Tell them they are more than the choices they have made. Tell them they are more than the entire SUM of their past mistakes. Tell them they are more than the problems that they may create. And then, point them to Jesus. Show them how they have been remade. Because until that person comes to that realization, life just heads downhill. You can't change. You can't move. You just slowly die.

So what are you waiting for?

April 18, 2011

Be Still And Know That I Am God.

I miss Deep Creek Lake so much. I can't wait to be there, my home on Friday, because that is my home. Home is where the heart is. And my heart is indeed located near a small cottage, only a few feet from the water, back roads surrounded by farms and fields, with only the wind and the sound of the water to echo. No distractions of city life. No internet or phones, nothing.

How do I love this place then you ask, without outside communication? Allow me to tell you. It's not about keeping in contact with the world. It's about enjoying life and the places that God has given to us. If you don’t take time to feel the wind blow in your face, gaze at the stars for hours at night, listen to the sound of tree frogs and crickets, hear to the crackle of the dead leaves being stepped on in the woods, or feel the water splash on your feet, then what are you doing with your life?

It’s not just the place though. The people there are incredibly friendly and sweet. If you ask around the people who were here a few generations before us, you’ll find out that our grandparents, and some of our parents walked the streets at night without fear. They didn’t worry about being kidnapped or raped by some random stranger. That was because everyone knew basically everyone in the town. There was this thing called TRUST. Have you ever heard of it? Well today it’s gone.

At Deep Creek, even though it is full of many rich and snotty people, it is more populated by those who know that they only are able to be there because of their former relatives who have passed on and left their plot of land and house to their children and grandchildren. My great grandfather purchased our property in 1952 for roughly $5000. Today, it is worth nearly one million dollars. No, we don’t have a fancy 3 story house with huge windows and wrap around decks like many of the people down there do. We don’t have a huge yard or an amazing living room furnished with leather couches and a flat screen 50” television. We don’t have internet as I already mentioned. The only phone service we have is a landline that you can only receive calls on, or call an emergency number on. There is no cellular service around.

People ask me all the time at school if they can text me. And of course, I say no because I do not have texting. Mostly because I am on my work’s cell phone plan, and they only pay for the simple cell with calls only. Therefore I do not have texting. And once I have enough money to get my own phone, I honestly do not want it anyhow. It’s just a distraction. You can Facebook me, or call me. I don’t need my pocket vibrating all day long. I know if I had texting I wouldn’t be able to resist replying right away. And then my summer would be ruined when I remembered that I had no service at Deep Creek. So I’m going to avoid it as long as possible.

There is so much more to life than sitting in front of a computer. One thing that makes me love photography so much is the fact that I get to be outdoors. Rain or shine, a photo shoot will go on. And I can enjoy looking for details, lighting, and locations. It is amazing what beauty you can find when you take time to look for it.

Yes, I know I am one to talk when it comes to computers. Some of you may say I am addicted to Facebook, and you’re right. I’m also addicted to editing my pictures. Now that I have a Mac and Photoshop CS5 Extended Version, I am quite often to be found in my room on my computer, working or playing around with effects. It is experience, but there is a time when I need to give my eyes a rest. I stare at the computer all day at work, and then I come home and stare at my Mac or my laptop. Some days, the only break time I give myself is to eat and sleep. Yes, I know this will affect me as I get older, especially my eyesight. And I’m going to have to change. And summer is my break time.

A few things I am really looking forward to this summer are kayaking, swimming, jogging, star gazing, canoeing, photography drives, waterfalls, hiking, etc. You get the point.

Some of you don’t know this, but I absolutely hate sand. I can’t stand it. I am not a fan of the beach. I love the fact that at my home, there are rocks and fresh water. It doesn’t get too hot. I don’t have to worry about burning my feet on the sand. I can wake up and go down and just sit on the dock in peace before anyone wakes up and before any boaters get the notion to disrupt the glassy surface of the water. It’s the perfect place to think and relax. Not to mention breathe in fresh air that just seems to sweep off the water into your nostrils. It’s glorious.

Needless to say, I am greatly looking forward to my weekends this summer. Even though I know I will be spending many of them at home due to weddings I will be photographing and such. I plan on spending as much time as I can at Deep Creek, and everything else will fall into place.

April 8, 2011

Slow Down

Stressed out, running late, racing down the interstate
Spilled hot coffee, down the front of my jeans
It's work, work, pay the rent, money and my time's spent
Not a minute left for me to be me


Been going like nothing can wait

I gotta get my priorities straight


I need to live a little, have some fun

Take some time, waste it on number one
Find a girl that brings my whole world to a stop
Live a little, love a lot
I've been thinking...(I know..now is the time for you to gasp and say "NO WAY!") and I think that the more life goes on, the faster it goes, and the more stressed out everyone becomes. But I am just wondering, why do we all let that happen? Why don't we take the time to live a little and love a lot?

We live in a world of fast paced chaos. We have fast food, and we get upset when we have to wait 3 minutes at a drive through. We all have cars, and therefore we never even think about the people around us and around the world who have to walk places. We have high speed internet, and God forbid if it ever gets slow, because we might have a heart attack if it does. We have self checkouts at the grocery store, because the lady at the register was getting too slow for us. The list goes on.

What I really hate about living in the city is that no one takes time to do anything out of the normal. I mean, what did people who didn't have the internet, cell phones and cars do before us? FUN THINGS! They went fishing, hiking, rock climbing, swimming, boating, kayaking, exploring, walking, they went OUTSIDE to find something to do. I wonder again and again, what is going to happen to us all who have jobs that are indoors. If we never are exposed to the sunlight, we may very well shrivel up. (haha)
 
Yeah, I know you may think it's weird that I like the song above and all, but I do. (you should know that I'm a country girl by now.)
I would like to go on an adventure. Just get in my car (with my camera) and drive. I want to experience new things. I want to get out and see the world. There is so much of it to be seen. Now of course, nothing is possible without money. That's always the dilemma. But if everyone did this in the world, there would be no need for money! And yes, I know there are people who are perfectly content in their own little world. But I am not that kind of person.

Since I am a legal adult now..(oh yeah!) I am going to take road trips several times a year. :) Yeah..I know that won't bode to well with my family, but so what? I can't stand the fast pace of life anymore. It's time to
 
S          L          O          W           D          O          W          N

Breathe in and out SLOWLY. Okay, did you get that? Take the time today to slow down and just THINK about some things before rushing right into them. You'll be glad you did.

March 11, 2011

Hello World by Lady Antebellum

Traffic crawls, cell phone calls
Talk video screams at me
Through my tinted window I see
A little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, and she waves at me
Yeah, she smiles at me

Hello world

How've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope
In a little girl
Hello world


Every day I drive by

A little white church
It's got these little white crosses
Like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like he is here
Oh I know he is there
Yeah, I know he's there

Hello world

How've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never going to heal
I see a light
A little grace, a little faith unfurled
Hello world


Sometimes I forget what living's for

And I hear my life through my front door
And I'll be there
Oh I'm home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world
Hello world

All the empty disappears

I remember why I'm here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world
Hello world
Hello world 


When I first heard this song play a few weeks ago on the radio, I fell in love with it. And I thought instant...wow I really like "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum as well as "I Run To You." My brain went "Hmm...maybe I should buy their cd!" So I did. :)

And I just saw the music video for "Hello World" the other day, and it got me thinking. What if it's true that we all can change the world with just a simple smile and a wave, to/from a stranger? I know attitude has a lot to do with the way we are being affected by the world, but what if we purposely just took one moment a day to smile and wave at someone?

The music to this song is so soothing and wonderful, I could listen to it all day long. But the words are what make this song so amazing.

The video is below, but before you watch it, think about today. How can you change someones life?


Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like He is here
Oh I know He is there
Yeah, I know He's there
 
There are so many opportunities out there. Use your life as a gift that you have been given and spread your joy to someone else. (and yes, you don't actually have to be happy or joyful to smile) So do it. Make a difference. And maybe...just maybe, save a life.


February 27, 2011

This girl's gone country

So if you're friends with me on facebook, you probably know that I like music. Country music especially. I can't recall a time where I didn't like country music, but there was a gap where I didn't listen to any of it. Mostly because I was never in control of the radio. But having my own car has major advantages, including sole control of the radio! :)

When I was younger, we listened to country a lot in the car. And that's where my love for it came from. Then we went through the no radio stage, and now my family is into the k-love stage. But since I drive to school 3 days a week, and to work, I have control of the radio.

I am a HUGE fan of Rascal Flatts and Keith Urban. (and Taylor Swift...but everyone says she doesn't count anymore..>.<) So since I don't actually own any Keith Urban (he is permanently embedded on my youtube account) and my birthday is coming soon...HINT HINT. Okay..anyways. Oh, I can't forget Tim McGraw and Brad Paisley! Classic country music! So here are some of my favorites.












And I know I didn't mention Josh Turner, but this is absolutely my favorite country song EVER.