This may become random...be warned.
"God, I want to dream again. Take me where I've never been. I want to go there. This time I'm not scared. Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable. No one can touch me. Nothing can stop me."
Yesterday was an interesting day for sure.
There's nothing like being so angry that you feel ready to explode.
Then fall on your face and beg God for relief.
Which is why I didn't post anything...
...but today, I woke up with the promise of God that He is always by my side no matter what.
And no matter what I feel, He is always in control.
What I am about to say may really go against what I had in mind for these two weeks.
But it has impacted me very much so.
This past winter, one of the weekends Mike was home from school, we were going out for lunch after church. He always plays some crazy awesome music while he drives.
I remember sitting there with my hair blowing in the wind.
This song came on.
"You're not alone. There is more to this I know. You can make it out. You will live to tell."
When the song ended, I asked him what it was called.
It's called "You're Not Alone" by Saosin.
I tucked it away in my head, and then got it off youtube when I got home.
Well, youtube quality sucks sometimes.
Saturday, my friend Mandy came over, and then Mike joined us for dinner and to play games afterwards.
He said he couldn't stand the silence, so he brought in some cd's from his car to listen to.
That song was on there.
Amy begged to keep the cd's, so Mike gave them to her, and then I took it (terrible I know..lol) and put it all into my itunes list.
So yesterday?
I'm playing my music, trying to drown out my frustration.
That song comes on.
Even though they aren't a christian band, that song has a very good message.
It came on just at the right time.
I've heard "Just give it to Jesus. He understands. He's been through it all."
But until I read over and over what He went through, I never really believed it.
I mean any problem at all, you name it, He experienced it.
I was reading today in Matthew (taking a momentary break from 1 Kings..)
and it was talking about the pharisees coming to Jesus and accusing Him of working on the sabbath.
Then how Jesus would heal every single person who would follow Him, then command them not to tell anyone. And I couldn't figure out why He would say that. I mean, if I had the ability to heal, I'd want everyone to come to be healed right?
He did it because He humbled Himself and became a servant.
What is it like to be God and be a servant?
I have no clue.
But it's hard enough being HUMAN and being a servant.
To have a heart like that...man...that would be amazing. But very difficult.
I don't do too much to serve others.
So then I was thinking, isn't my ultimate goal to become like Christ?
The unachievable yet best goal anyone can set.
When I look at the life of Jesus, giving up on trying to be like Him is very easy.
To even pick one thing seems like an impossible task.
And really, without Him, it is.
But I forget quite often that He is in me. He gives me the power. I am His daughter.
He can do anything in me.
And that's what I want.
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